I think I want a spanking...

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Old Man Why You Love Him: He's the Mack Daddy

Who's Your Daddy?

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah...

My other virtual daddy isn't so bad either. I'm talking about none other than DaddyPapersurfer! He's crazy (that's why he's constantly under threat of being disowned by his family) but he's cool too.

I won a DaddyPapersurfer T-shirt in April, and he sent it over to me from the UK. Poor old git was complaining about how he had to take out a mortgage to cover the postage.

It was worth it, DaddyPee! I promise to love and cherish the shirt, and maybe will it to one of my children -- if they do something bad.

Which reminds me, one of them asked, "What's a DaddyPapersurfer?"

Me: You mean THE DaddyPapersurfer! There's only one of him, thank God.

(And I left it at that. Didn't want to scar their young minds.)

(Daddy Papersurfer stoked me and I liked it!)

Panaginip lang*

Dreams are surreal, mine own and most everyone else's, probably. But computer-generated visual interpretations of dreams at Dreamlines can be even more surreal. I learned about that site from Citizen of the World. (Thanks, CS!)

How does it work? You type in one or more words that best describe your dream, and the site comes up with some images. The graphics it came up with for me were even more surreal than my dream, but the colors and textures in the Dreamlines pictures sure are pretty.


But then, that dream of mine was so very pretty too. Oh, yes, oh yes it was. I had a mini-heartbreak when I woke up and realized all that beauty didn't really happen, that it had only been in my mind.

*only a dream

And no, I did NOT dream of Gene Simmons or any of his ilk. Jeez. (Though there was a tongue in that dream somewhere.)

Blogworld Saturday

Her eyes closed, strains of David Sylvian's Darkest Dreaming streaming through her thoughts - a peculiarly haunting song that almost never fails to bring a lump to her throat and tears to her eyes (because she can be such a sentimental idiot sometimes) - wondering how the year could have gone by so fast, everything and nothing within a span of 12 months and forever.

Stay tonight
We'll watch the full moon rising
Hold on tight
The sky is breaking
I don't ever want to be alone
With all my darkest dreaming
Hold me close
The sky is breaking

She's so glad, though, for blogs and blog posts like the following she's read recently, brightening her days and nights.

Baby, When the Lights Go Out, at Unfinished Business Part 2. Power cuts can be so inconvenient, whether you live in the tropics - like Anusha and I do - or elsewhere. But it's interesting to read about another person's differing take on candlelit dinners and showering by candlelight (I find the latter to be most soothing).

One More Hackney Summer, at Papersurfer.com. Transliterating thoughts into words can be so hard sometimes, but Penfold (along with another friend of his) did well when they wrote about a friend of theirs who no longer walks this world. I really like how Penfold uses words and images to express his thoughts and feelings. Plus, he's a good guy (as many other people, especially the tantalizing Tango, can confirm). I'm lucky to have met him - at least virtually.

Visions of Vulva and Forget the Pigeon..., at Gimcrack Hospital. Nursemyra in Australia NEVER fails to educate and entertain - especially when it comes to sexual matters. To my male blogger pals: head on over to Nursey's site to learn about your penis' personality, and what you can call it besides "dick" or "cock." Female readers, go to the vulva post and learn more about what you can call your vagina according to its characteristics. (I used to call mine "The Secret Garden." A former colleague called hers "The Well of Loneliness." I think I'm going to have to steal that one. *sigh*)

Where the Winds Blow, at The Death of Retail Price. I love an introspective post that's a rant at the same time, especially when I can relate to said rant, and when said rant is so passionately written. Several other people identified with Orhan Khan's post too: about the prospect of entering into a relationship where the other person doesn't even know himself/herself all that well, and the possibility of losing one's own personality upon entering a relationship. How can two halves become a coherent whole when those halves haven't found themselves and/or get sucked into a vacuum?

An Epiphany (or Paradigm Shifting), at A Blue State of Mind. Another heartfelt rant, this time from Debo Blue. The urge to belong can sometimes lead us to abandon or compromise our beliefs for a while...until we wake up and realize that our efforts to be part of certain cliques are stupid and pointless. Debo Blue speaks (or writes) her mind - a mind that most definitely comes across as level-headed and strong.

Enjoy your weekend, folks.

Oogy wawa!!! (That's Zulu for cheers! You learned something new from me today.)

Blogworld Saturday

Restless, on edge, cranky enough to bite my offspring or kick puppies - I was those things and more the past few days when I didn't have my Internet connection because of some technical issues over at my ISP. But all is hunky-dory now, and it's back to sweetness and light, or some semblance thereof.

Time for you guys to check out some of the stuff I enjoyed recently. And you will check them out, won't you? Because you're all cool that way.

My brother's Internet shopping site. If you like online shopping, then head on over to this site. My brother and his wife feature more than 400 retailers there. Right now the company they're affiliated with delivers only to the US, I think. So to my buddies in America, visit my brother's page and shop in good environmental conscience! And tell them I sent you. :-)

Ask Diesel About Language Stuff Part II, at Mattress Police. He's funny, he's smart, and he makes sense! Meet the coolest member of the grammar police. For those of us who love to split infinitives and dangle prepositions, it's good to know we have Diesel on our side.

November 11, at A Little Off Kilter. Citizen of the World's post about finding dead birds near her house is simple, yet so thought-provoking. Autumn over at her place is wonderful, with all sorts of loveliness and yumminess in her kitchen, front yard and back yard. But as this post shows, the beauty can be tinged with sadness.

Strawberry Vanilla Swirl, at Worth a Thousand Words. Photo Cache has the most breathtaking pictures of all sorts of flowers in her "Flower Parade" series. Be sure to look at the other photos in the collection - they are soooo pretty.

Relaxing After Work, at The Other HNT. Unwinding with a glass of wine at the end of the day can be blissful - and healthy! Wine is good for the heart, you know. I absolutely adore this photograph because it features wine...along with some other things I like. :-D Riveting, and absolutely beautiful. ***NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!***

Have a cardiovascularly healthy weekend, everyone.

Skinny Blogworld Saturday

Blogblast for Peace: November 2008

"Mims, I need a huge favor."

So started a comedy of errors between me and Mimi Lenox a few days ago, when I asked her to email me all the Peace Globes in her gallery. After several failed attempts, we finally succeeded. With the help of Mimi and an awesome free program called AndreaMosaic, my Peace Globe for November 6, 2008 was born.


But much of the credit for my Peace Globe goes to each and every blogger who has participated in Dona Nobis Pacem at one time or another since the movement started two years ago. For each and every Peace Globe from November 2006 to November 3, 2008 is in there somewhere - a few of them even appear several times.

(If you want a closer look, click here. But be warned: it's one heck of a big file and it'll take quite some time before it loads fully. Then you can zoom in and look at each tile when it's done.)

Isn't it amazing how people from all over the world contribute to the big picture we call peace in many different little ways? And we do this in spite of our differences. It doesn't really matter if our politics are different; it doesn't matter if I prefer salty food and you like spicy; it makes no real difference if you like being on top and he/she prefers otherwise; it's fine if he believes in the Holy Trinity and she believes in Allah and I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster; it doesn't even matter if I like beer and you don't (though I'm thankful several of my online and offline friends enjoy some form of alcohol on occasion - I'd be so lonely otherwise). Thank heavens for diversity, life would be so boring if we were all alike.

Paradoxically, though, we are also all the same.

We laugh, we cry, we bleed, we heal, we get mad, we sing, we dance, we think, we dream, we live, we die, we love. It's what we humans have been doing for millennia, and it's what we'll keep on doing in the years to come.

Will there ever be an end to conflict? I don't think so; the differences in our natures and beliefs are fertile grounds for conflict. But maybe one day we can resolve conflict without having to resort to inflicting violence on fellow humans and Mother Nature - and get along peacefully despite our differences.

Blogworld Saturday

I'm feeling a tad nostalgic for what used to be - at least when it comes to blogging. When I started this blog two years ago, it never even entered my mind I'd "meet" some terrifically awesome people online through their own blogs. Sadly, some of these people don't update their blogs anymore, which I think is a crying shame since they're among the people whose writing I really, really enjoyed reading.

Two noteworthy blogger friends who have been missing from the blogging world come to mind:

The World of Yaxlich. This young Englishman has shared so much of his life with us: from his experiences with agoraphobic Peruvians to the raison d'etre of Daddy Longlegs to the effectiveness of curing hiccups with a digital rectal massage. Wherever he is and whatever he's doing now, I hope he is well.

The Moving (Middle) Finger Writes. I was entirely seduced by how Prometheus wrote when I first read his blog posts two years ago. Over the months and years, this fantastic Indian blogger touched on topics such as Celtic poetry, leetspeak, samurai songs, and many others. I know he's been very busy, hence the very sporadic blog posts. And especially now, when he's just reached a major turning point in his life. Mon ami, if you're reading this, you know I and your other blogging pals share in your joy.

I'm happy to say, though, that many of my other blogging buddies are soldiering on. Which is just another way of saying I'm glad they keep posting regularly. Here are two of them:

- When it comes to sex it isn’t about whether or not, at my age. It is all about compatibility. You have to actually like doing the same things. I do not care how “hot” a woman is if the sex sucks. No, no, no, those aren't my words. They're by Mr. Bud Weiser, from his post Long Ride to Beantown, at WTIT Tape Radio. Bud occasionally lets loose some sublime insights every now and then on various topics, such as incidences of civil status discrimination - even though they're sometimes committed unwillingly - which are a pain in the ass. But lots of guys will be glad to know that Bud regularly posts lots of pictures of semi-naked chicks.

- Diesel's back-to-back posts about murdering the English language over at Mattress Police: This is not a compendia of erratum and Ask Diesel about language stuff. Ever wondered about the consequences of scratching your scrota behind podia? Be more terrified of misusing the apostrophe and comma. I'm kidding. Diesel's not actually a card-carrying member of the Third Reich of Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation; he just has kittens whenever he sees flagrant misuse of the English language in business communication. Personal bloggers are safe from his red pen, thank goodness. Heaven knows just how many times I've inadvertently (?) bludgeoned this language.

Have a non-violent weekend, folks. Next up, I'll talk about a movie I saw very recently (like a few hours ago) and how it made me think - an activity DaddyPapersurfer actively discourages - and for good reason!

Oh, and I almost forgot. You can call me Ingrid if you manage to somehow forget my name. Eerie how spot-on (or way off the mark) these crazy online quizzes can be sometimes.

Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique" [just like billions of other people, I guess]

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.


• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.


• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.


• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.


• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level


• my ability to establish warm connections with people


• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life


• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor


• being unique and being seen as unique by others


• having aesthetic sensibilities


• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair


• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved


• feeling guilty when I disappoint people


• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me


• expecting too much from myself and life


• fearing being abandoned


• obsessing over resentments


• longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games


• are very sensitive


• feel that they don't fit in


• believe they are missing something that other people have


• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.


• become anti-authoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood


• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

• help their children become who they really are


• support their children's creativity and originality


• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings


• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective


• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Blogworld Saturday

The right side of my upper lip got bitten by an ant and now it looks like I had my upper lip collagen-ed. Too bad I killed the ant before it ever got around to biting my lower lip. Now my mouth appears unbalanced.

Oh, well. Where was I? Oh, yes. It's Saturday again - at least in my part of the world - and, stiff upper lip or not, here are some of the blog posts I've enjoyed the past week. Hope you take a look at them too.

Gang tattoos, at My Sarisari Store. After a long absence (don't you just hate it when good bloggers go on hiatus?) Sidney is back with another intriguing set of photos. This Belgian photographer braved some of Manila's jails to photograph inmates' tattoos, and describes some of the designs' why's and wherefore's.

Lazy Photo, at Worth a Thousand Words. Here's another talented photographer for you. Photo Cache's series about the sky and the clouds are simply awesome.

Wedding Is Off, at Bagwine Ruminations. Is there anything about your significant other you've recently discovered that can make you have second thoughts about making a lifelong commitment with him/her? Matt-man recently discovered something he found horrifying about his better half, Schmoop, something that might cause him to at least jump off a cliff.

As Good as Vegas, at The Pole Affair. Isn't it just wonderful the way one's day turns out to be terrific despite its seemingly inauspicious beginnings? The pole dance princess known as Glamourpuss had this happen to her a few days ago - something she richly deserves.

Bland One, at Mattress Police. Diesel and I probably won't see eye to eye when it comes to Jodie Foster's movies. I've enjoyed Ms. Foster's movies over the years, but even though Diesel didn't like The Brave One, I still enjoyed reading his review. And not just because it has the word penis in it.

Speaking of movies, I'm both anticipating and dreading the movie "Twilight." I enjoyed reading the books for the most part and am almost hyperventilating at the thought of watching the first movie in the installment. Yet I'm dreading the possibility that the movie will suck, even though the trailer and other movie scenes released seem promising. I really, really hope the film adaptation of the book doesn't suck.

I've been having Edward Cullen dreams (the book's Edward, not the movie's Edward) since I finished reading the Twilight saga. Still, watching 0:36-0:42 in the film clip below makes me wish he, and not a stupid ant, was the cause of my swollen lip - even though I'm no Bella. *sigh*



Have a bloody good weekend, everyone.

Blogworld Saturday

Saturday here where I am once again, the start of a bright and lovely weekend (I hope). So, which posts/blogs from/by my fellow bloggers did I enjoy the past week? Here are just some of them. Hope you like 'em too.

1. Blue Whales and Bubbles at Mimi Writes. You probably know Mimi Lenox as the Queen of Memes and as the leader of Dona Nobis Pacem - Blogblast for Peace. In this touching post, she writes about re-discovering innocence in the purest sense of the word - in the eyes and words of someone very close to her heart, and at bathtime, no less!

2. The Toy Closet. Everyone has a story to tell and this includes the beloved companions of our childhood: our teddy bears! (or dolls or toy robots or sock puppets) On this site you'll find the stories of much-loved (and probably much-abused) toys like Piglet, Raggedy-Ann, and an assortment of Teddy Bears. What do they have to say about life with their owners? Click the link to find out.

3. Because It's Never Too Early for Bacon at the Jannaverse. Janna stumbled onto an awesome idea for an alarm clock. I want one like it! Except mine would have coffee instead of bacon. Mmmmmmm...

4. Big Boy Biomechanics at the Gimcrack Hospital. Nursemyra's posts are so educational. I never thought I'd learn so much about the different sizes, shapes, and bone structures of mammalian penises in just one post. It's a boner of a post, if you will. Her Corset Friday specials are not shabby at all either!

5. Those online mosaic picture generators are amazing things. A friend of mine generated one for me a while back, and it made me laugh. Click on my thumbnail to see why. I had to retaliate, of course, and you can see his mosaic here.

Have a spankin' good weekend, everyone!

Nocturnal Mentations

I dreamed a dream.

Walking on the soft, powdery sands of some isolated beach somewhere, I came upon some strange sights (which are strange only in retrospect because in dreamland, nothing is strange).

There was a Papersurfer performing a jaunty tune on a harmonica - the sunlight bouncing off his ass - harmonizing with the melody of a song being played by the World's Best Vodka-Swilling Tape DJ. Bouncing with utmost gusto to the music was a Most Handsome Wolf, whose steps somehow reminded me of a dance reality TV show that I've never even watched.

A hobbit running past distracted me; it was being chased by an Italian-loving Truthsayer, though it looked like the little creature wasn't really trying to escape. A great shadow suddenly shielded me from the glaring sun; looking up I saw a Wise Dragon and on his back, a Lovely Citizen of the World -- they were off on one of their missions to disseminate knowledge and kindness to humankind -- along with lots of smooches and gropes sent along by She Whose World Turns So Enchantingly.

A few meters offshore, an Old Git was bathing his sore shins in the balmy waters, having been kicked yet again by his better half for lo, she is a Terrible Goddess indeed. A Bodacious Corset-Clad Nurse sat waiting for him beneath a huge palm tree, for treating the problems that come with old age is within her field of expertise (in addition to bedroom sports. But not with the Old Git! Oh, no. That'll earn him more than just a kick in the shins.).

A door appeared in the middle of the beach, and opening it, I entered a scene of genteel madness. For there was a Glamorous Puss shimmying up and down most enticingly on a pole while simultaneously singing the praises of beautifully-dressed people. The Perpetual Writer was engrossed in events in the lives of little Lego superheroes while the Queen of Memes prettily proclaimed amnesty for those imprisoned in Bloggingham Dungeon. Brilliant Peace Globes were flying helter-skelter, and the Cacher of Photos was busily clicking away on her camera to record everything in sight. The Thwarter of Complacency smiled dreamily, images of kittens, the moon, and the sea dancing in his mind.

But wait, did I hear the strains of a Bollywood song when I espied Two Halves of a Brain, enveloped in pink mist, prancing along on the soft and alluring pavements of Witness Lane? Hahaha, what a gorgeous sight! A Big Leather Couch beckoned, and sitting on it was like coming home. With the Greatest Honk 'n' Holler, I raised to my lips the bottle of cold beer that appeared magically in my hand.

I didn't really dream that dream.

But it was a lovely dream nonetheless.

Dona Nobis Pacem

We bloggers write about anything and everything under the sun: like love, hate, sex, work, politics, sex, family, travel, gardening, parenting, friendship, sex, music, movies, making money, sex. Today, a number of us are posting about peace, we who are not only willing but enthusiastic participants of Mimi Lenox's Dona Nobis Pacem Blog Blast for Peace movement.

It started several dozen moons ago, Mimi's initiative, which has since blossomed and swelled like a beauty pageant contestant's head - but in a much, much nicer way. Though those contestants do mention world peace quite regularly...or as Mimi puts it, world peas. Makes me salivate for some delicious pea soup.

But life isn't an epicurean delight every day. More often than not, events leave a bad taste in one's mouth, or if they don't it's because they were too bland to make an impact. Funny thing is, if one takes the time to chew - to savor - an experience, then he or she will find something good about it, no matter how colorless or unpalatable it may have seemed at the start.

And where else does peace start but from within each and every one of us? Sure, it's easy to spout rhetoric about world peace (peas? mmmm, pea soup) but if one's own life is devoid of it (peace, not peas!), how can she or he influence others? You can talk the talk but you gotta walk the walk too.

Inner peace doesn't necessarily mean eliminating everyday conflict. How the hell can you do that? Unless you're some sort of monk living in a cave in the mountains. Even then, you'd have to deal with the pesky insects. No, I think it's about finding serenity - and perhaps imparting it to others - even in the midst of the usual chaos we encounter within and without on a daily basis. Yes, choosing the peaceful way is hard sometimes. What's easier, to flip the bird at the jerks who cut you off on the highway or to think that maybe they have problems that distract them from driving responsibly? To take offense at a friend's seeming inattentiveness or understand his need for silence? It's easier to rant and rave, to react in a negative manner especially when such a reaction seems merited.

It's easier to react negatively, it seems. But then again, the things that are most worthwhile aren't all that easy to deal with, the things that will bring peace to us, and by our resulting actions, to others. Conversely, it isn't rocket science either. It's simply a choice: the choice not to do harm, the choice not to hurt, the choice to do good, the choice to act in peace, the choice to love.

There are things that bring me a measure of serenity, the ocean is one of them. Music is another, and these two songs lull my spirit because they celebrate love (which I think is essential to peace). They make me smile, and sometimes they make me cry (but in a good way). I like them a lot because they celebrate my life and my peace and my love...even if they don't talk about peas. Or sex. Or beer.





So shake it up, baby, now...for peace.

Tickling the funny bone(r)

Humor is a funny thing.

Or rather, one's taste in humor.

It can change without warning; what's funny today may seem tasteless tomorrow, or vice-versa. Some tasteless jokes are kickass funny, some are not. Though I find it hard to believe everybody hasn't laughed at a tasteless joke at least once.

There are lots and lots of funny blogs out there, and I'm glad I've come across a few of them.

DaddyPapersurfer's blog is just plain fun. Well, not plain, maybe. But simple fun about the life of an old git in England, who is wont to exaggerate things just a trifle. Another Brit humour blog I enjoyed was The World of Yaxlich. Too bad he stopped blogging. He made me laugh with posts like this.

Mr. Fab of Pointless Drivel has ruffled quite a few feathers with some of his posts - those with themes dealing with topics that some people don't think shouldn't be made fun of. I admit some of them are a bit too much for me, but I don't get my knickers in a twist over them. Many of his other posts tickle my funny bone anyway,

One of my most favorite humor blogs is Gimcrack Hospital. It's not only funny, it's educational as well! I wouldn't have known otherwise about things like male urethral stimulation, using leeches to simulate virginity, and the practice of dry sex in some cultures. Plus, the Good Nurse titillates her male readers (and makes her female readers green with envy) every Friday, when she showcases her bodacious bod in pieces of her lingerie collection. (Like this, for example. I suggested the concept of Casual Fridays to Nursemyra sometime back; she turned it into Sizzling Hot Fridays.) Nursemyra's blog helps her deal with a tragedy she suffered recently. Another example of using humor to cope with loss, and it's a big plus if it delights other people too, which her blog surely does. See her "About Me" page to learn more.

What does the title of this post have to do with anything? Well, this picture. Hey, it's NSFW ok? It made me laugh - not the reaction the subject probably wants from viewers - and cross my legs and mentally shriek "episiotomy!"

Blogworld Saturday

Betcha thought Blogworld Saturday was over and done with. You thought wrong, but I'm not blaming you. The year is almost half over - jeez, time does fly - and here's my first Blogworld Saturday post for 2008. It's early Sunday morning already where I am, but when did I ever let something like time stop me from doing what I want to do?

Here are some of the posts I've enjoyed reading the past few weeks.

East Coast Dweller. Wise and gentle he may be, but he doesn't put up with ignoramuses. God knows there are so many of them. Here he stands up yet again in defense of womanhood.

Kadi. I've been lurking on her blog, which I like veddy much. This magnificent lady has seven young kids, and lovely as they are, I can imagine the maelstrom they can cause in her household. This post is an example of one such stormy day. No wonder she says "Shitballs!" regularly. Also, this post, The Talk, just made me laugh.

Glamour Puss. She's sexy, but more importantly, her excellent and heartfelt writing reaches out to me and to many others. I most certainly can relate to her post on her darkness and her light. Well, most of it. Not the erotic asphyxiation part, though.

Aileen. Does the way other people refer to you bother you? It does me, sometimes. Aileen talks about what gets her goat other than being addressed as "Ma'am."

Mimi Lenox. On June 4, 2008, Peace Globes will once again float, soar, and dash through the Internet. Participating is simple; just download the Peace Globe picture you like, scrawl your signature across it (and add an image if you desire) and blog about what "peace" means to you. Some people have banners that say something like "Make Poverty History" or "I Need to Get Laid" on their blogs." Achieving either one would certainly bring a measure of peace to one person or many people. Mimi's Blog Blast for Peace would, too, I believe. Positive energy and goodwill through pictures and personal thoughts and stories are something I'm look forward to.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend so far. See you all again in a few days. Stay naughty!

Asked for, and received

This blog has been reviewed by Charlotte, and you can read the review here.

How's that for brevity?

But of course, the post doesn't end here.

I myself asked for a review from them, and man, did I receive. I'm relieved it's finally over, and that Charlotte (a guest reviewer) didn't rip my blog nor my way or writing to shreds. The site's mainstays aren't going to visit again, thank goodness. I'm glad they took a peek, and sorry they didn't like what they saw.

Did I like the review?

Hell, no.

Do I think it's a fair review?

Hell, yes.

After I submitted my blog to "Ask and Ye Shall Receive," I tried looking at this blog through a stranger's eyes, and I did see how it can be off-putting to the casual visitor. Brown template that can be reminiscent of shit to some, a lot of long posts. I can be wordy many times, but there are many posts as well that don't ramble on and on. But if all you see is a lot of long posts on the front page, and which aren't to your liking, then of course you won't be compelled to dig deeper into the archives to explore. I see that clearly.

I thought the labels would help a reader navigate; I keep just a few tags or labels to make navigation easier, but Cappy pointed out that the labels aren't interesting and don't entice him to delve further. I just don't know. Lara suggested a "best posts" list to draw readers in. My thanks to them for their tips.

So...change is in the air.

Template: I've been wanting to change it, but didn't think I should do so before the review came out. So I'll find a nice one. I liked this one when I first saw it, though (reminded me of dark, warm chocolate).

Title: I'm sticking with what I have. I do have a vagina and a keyboard, can't deny that. Besides, I suck at coming up with cute and clever titles.

Content: I will TRY to meander less and edit against verbosity, but no promises. Maybe it's because I'm so reticent in the 3D world that I ramble on and on in many of my blog posts. It's a form of catharsis for me sometimes. A number of you put up with them, and I thank you. It isn't obvious to everyone, but a lot of them I poured my heart and soul into.

Another thought: maybe it's the template that makes the posts look ultra-long? Well, we'll see when I find a new template that I like.

I appreciate Charlotte's review. The virtual spanking that this lady from the Midwest gave me (I mentioned spanking here recently, didn't I?) was tempered with good words and with criticism meant to help. It was done fairly, in my opinion. Others may not agree with her two stars and flaming finger, and that's their right. But tight hugs and sloppy kisses to those of you who do like my blog - and who do find a connection between us through it.

So I have three blog reviews (that I can remember) under my belt. This latest one from Ask and Ye Shall Receive, one from The Weblog Review, and one from The World Blog Council - my personal favorite, but only because Colonel-whatsisname-Arse is way hot.

Sappy

To say that I enjoy listening to rock 'n' roll is an understatement, whether I'm BUI* or not (as Turnbaby inadvertently discovered. Look at that evil grin of hers. And her alluring cleavage. She's evil, I tell ya. Diabolical. But I adore her nevertheless.).

Sometimes, though, when the beer hits the spot or when the moon is full or just because, sappy love songs get to me. When that happens, I feel all warm and tingly inside and I find myself singing along, or making up my own lyrics - but only in my mind - because vocalizing them seems tantamount to sacrilege (especially given how my singing voice sucks big time). Though I do throw caution to the wind sometimes and sing along with abandon anyway. Mostly when I'm alone or very, very drunk. No catastrophic effects - so far.

And when it's a rock song that's a sappy love song at the same time, like the one I heard just a few minutes ago (I'm not saying which one, I do have some sense of shame after all), I can't help gurning like Daddy Papersurfer. It's rockin' fun to be sappy and silly once in a while.

*Blogging under the influence (but then you already knew that, Turnbaby!)

Cyber Yeast, Part Deux

Not all memes are lame, quite a few are actually fun to do. I had a good time doing my Band Meme post, and several others liked the outcome - which is why I was honored with my second Rising Blogger award.

Thank you, Bud Weiser, for your kind words in your review. (Bud is the author of WTIT: Tape Radio and one of the team of reviewers at The Rising Blogger). And thanks to Judd Corizan, creator of The Rising Blogger site.

I didn't tag anyone else for the Band Meme, but some other bloggers liked the game enough to play along. Like my dear Indian blog buddy, Prometheus. He's been AWOL for the longest time and seeing him posting again is most pleasant. I and many others have enjoyed his smart and funny posts. Mon ami, if you're reading this, I hope you continue blogging. Your wit at The Moving (Middle) Finger Writes has been sorely missed.

The other person who did this game unbidden is Dean, who posts over at Qwerty Confessions. Dean is a fellow Filipino blogger. This young man is only 13 years old and his command of the English language is excellent. Young as he is, he's won a number of local journalism awards. It would be a pleasure to watch his development as a writer over the years. I wasn't writing anywhere near as well as he is when I was his age. Well, nothing intellectual anyway. Just the normal teenage-heartthrobbing stuff I'd scribble every day in my pink Little Twin Stars diary. The menage a trois comprised of Lizza, beer, and ciggies was still nonexistent in those days. Ah, wholesomely good times they were.

Christmas stocking delights

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaa... Okay, that's my version of the traditional Santa Claus "ho ho ho" belly laugh, which offends people nowadays, I hear. Anyway, just know that I had a big laugh or two with the virtual Christmas gifts I thought up for my blog buddies. This is just the first installment, okay? There are so many of you, I couldn't cram everything in one post. So, here ya go, your cybergifts for the ho-ho-holidays from Elf Lizza.

H. My Indian soul sis is absolutely crazy over the color pink. A fantastic writer whose way with words make me hiss in envy. I hope this pink laptop will help her post more often.


Ian. He'll need a good pen for his book signing sessions. (His novel, The Milkman was published this year). He deserves more than just a $265,000 diamond-encrusted pen, but it was all I could come up with for now.


Daddy Papersurfer. I know he'd really rather receive a yacht, but a canoe will do his arms good. Is there one that exercises the legs, especially his calves? He needs it! Moo. Something with adamantium oars would be suitable.


Penfold. A customized surfboard for the supersurfer. But instead of Google, it would have Papersurfer embossed on it, or maybe something more risqué. It should be as shiny as possible, to deflect the glow from his shiny ass. And because he's such a good pal, I'm also giving him a bottle of brandy - to be served by an appropriately-dressed female (see sample in next gift).


Nunu's mum. She's opening a restobar in idyllic Boracay, one of the most famous tourist spots here in the Philippines. These microscopic pieces of cloth will help her celebrate the transition from freezing UK weather back to our warm climes. Welcome home again soon, and see you soon! (Click here for her gift, I'm not posting a pic here! This blog is supposed to be wholesome.)

Nursemyra. A woman with a heart of gold deserves gold fun stuff too. It's not just a toy, it's a veritable objet d'art. No, it isn't a fancy computer mouse. According to the Yva device website, this 18K gold-plated vibrating nugget is "luxurious and evocative against the naked skin, and offers exciting prospects for users inclined to the sensual utilisation of hot or cold." Oooooo!



I'll see what's in my Christmas sack...errrrrr, stocking, for the rest of you guys. In the meantime, don't forget to eat your citrus. Wouldn't want you having a cold during the holidays. Ho ho ho!

Dona Nobis Pacem: November 2007

I grew up in a family that follows Christian traditions. Though we weren't part of the vast Roman Catholic majority in the Philippines (we were members of the Anglican Communion), we followed several of the same rites and rituals: going to mass on Sundays and on major religious holidays, reading and talking about the Bible, etc., etc.

Since then I've distanced myself from organized religion. That doesn't mean I'm an atheist, though. I still believe there's a higher, all-knowing, ever-present and all-loving spiritual Being, perhaps even transcending spirituality as our mortal minds grasp the concept. Whether he (she? it?) is God, Oprah, Allah, Buddha, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I just don't know. But I believe, somehow.

But, there are several biblical concepts that have made their impression on me as I was growing up. Two of these come to mind today:

"My peace I leave with you, not as the world gives, give I to you."

and

"The peace of God that passes all understanding."

So maybe the concept of peace, as I've conceptualized it, is at the least, flawed and incomplete? When I wish for peace, I wish for the end of war, violence, poverty, hate. But guess what? Much greater people have prayed and wished for the same thing; but wars are still fought, violence is still committed on a daily basis, the numbers of the poor do not ever seem to decrease, people still go on hating. Has always been, still is now. Will it always be this way? We can't really say for sure, unless we possessed the same time-traveling powers that Hiro Nakamura and Peter Petrelli (and Kenzei/Adam???? WTF?) do (sorry, couldn't help mentioning my beloved Heroes TV show).

I read somewhere that when you pray or wish for something, the answer can come in a way that you don't expect. If you pray for more patience, the powers that be don't resolve all your patience-trying situations in one go. No, you're given even more stressful situations for you to develop the virtue of patience. If you pray for health, maybe you'll be given a wake-up call to make you realize the options available to you?

And if you pray for peace...well. Maybe the adversities we face on a daily basis, or new ones that come crashing out of nowhere--however trivial or catastrophic they may seem--are portals to finding the peace that has always been there, deep inside us. Constant, unwavering, faithful, in the face of trials and tribulations.

Dona nobis pacem. Give us peace. Can we accept a peace that passes all understanding? A kind of peace that's so radically different from what we know or expect it to be? I just don't know. Maybe sometimes we don't have to understand. Maybe sometimes we don't need to analyze and nitpicket all the changes that occur and wail and beat our breasts and cry out "Why me?" Maybe sometimes we don't need to understand; perhaps all that's needed is just to accept, make peace within (especially within) and without (as much as we can), and move on. Maybe we can't change the whole world, but perhaps changing our own will have an impact, however imperceptible, on others'.

Thank you, Mimi Lenox, for gathering those of us who would express what we would about that elusive entity called Peace. The next piece of cheesecake I have will be in honor of you, my dear. (As well as the next piece of crap the universe sees fit to dump on my ebony-maned -- but with an increasing grey population -- head.)

Blogworld Saturday

It's Saturday once again (at least in my part of the world). My, how rapidly time does flap its wings. The month is drawing to a close...and I didn't get to go to an Oktoberfest shindig! But I did read a good many wonderful posts the fast few days as I was bidding October tata.

Travis. Speaking of tatas, Trav focuses on boobs and boots in this post. Well, mostly boobs. More specifically, fun ways to cover boobies. Kinda steamy. Hoo ha!

Beer Haiku. As many of you probably already know, I loves me beer. This haiku pretty much covers how I libate.

Christy. Some of you maintain more than one blog. This woman has eight. That's right, boys and girls. Eight. Some of them she writes on her own; others are collaborative efforts. Very informative, the blogs cover entertainment, wellness, design, children, geekdom, music, books, and the environment. What a superwoman.

Marlayna. First off, I loved the title of her post. Marlayna is a remarkable woman who writes very powerfully. She's received some negative feedback from anonymous people, and she wonders about the pyschology of so-called trolls.

H. Calling someone dumb is awful. Strangely, calling someone intelligent can be just as bad. My dear Indian soul sister explains why in another extremely well-written diatribe.

Burton. Burton is a theatrical actor/director and a blogger whose posts are a breath of fresh air for me: soulful yet invigorating. Here he talks about wanting to "sound his barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world"--of wanting to really live. Perhaps he already is, he just doesn't realize it yet.

Penfold. One of the funniest replies I've read in a blog's comments section this week, by Penfold himself, on his own blog (the post itself was pretty good too):

"Fracas - I appreciate that you have the best intentions but the day that I let DP (Daddy Papersurfer) help me in any decision making process is the day I have my testicles peeled, dipped in salt and lemon and slammed on the bar in the Coach and Horses.
Thanks anyway…"

**********

Have a safe weekend, everyone. Don't run into any stampeding cows.

4/5: The Weblog Review's rating

I have a bit of a masochistic streak. How else can I explain my submission of this blog to several review sites? After the ego-bruising evaluation I got from So Many Blogs, So Little Time a few months ago, I underwent a bit of nail-biting and lip-chewing before I clicked on a link in an email I got in my inbox a few days ago, notifying me that my blog had been reviewed. I had submitted my site to The Weblog Review a few months back if I'm not mistaken, and I'd forgotten about it.

But a few seconds after I finally clicked on the link in the email, my lip-chewing stopped and I found myself smiling in appreciation. It was a favorable evaluation. You can read it here.They actually explore further back than just a blog's first page before they write their assessment. Their reviews make sense, are well written (gramatically and more), and easy to read. Thank you to reviewer Wendy and to The Weblog Review. May you and your kind shine and prosper.

And thank you to many of my blogger pals out there. I go green with envy at the stuff you guys come up with and how you express them. Thanks for sharing parts of yourselves: educating, entertaining and inspiring others.

Anyone up for a beer? I'm treating. Licks and gropes are up for grabs too. :-D