Nocturnal Mentations

I dreamed a dream.

Walking on the soft, powdery sands of some isolated beach somewhere, I came upon some strange sights (which are strange only in retrospect because in dreamland, nothing is strange).

There was a Papersurfer performing a jaunty tune on a harmonica - the sunlight bouncing off his ass - harmonizing with the melody of a song being played by the World's Best Vodka-Swilling Tape DJ. Bouncing with utmost gusto to the music was a Most Handsome Wolf, whose steps somehow reminded me of a dance reality TV show that I've never even watched.

A hobbit running past distracted me; it was being chased by an Italian-loving Truthsayer, though it looked like the little creature wasn't really trying to escape. A great shadow suddenly shielded me from the glaring sun; looking up I saw a Wise Dragon and on his back, a Lovely Citizen of the World -- they were off on one of their missions to disseminate knowledge and kindness to humankind -- along with lots of smooches and gropes sent along by She Whose World Turns So Enchantingly.

A few meters offshore, an Old Git was bathing his sore shins in the balmy waters, having been kicked yet again by his better half for lo, she is a Terrible Goddess indeed. A Bodacious Corset-Clad Nurse sat waiting for him beneath a huge palm tree, for treating the problems that come with old age is within her field of expertise (in addition to bedroom sports. But not with the Old Git! Oh, no. That'll earn him more than just a kick in the shins.).

A door appeared in the middle of the beach, and opening it, I entered a scene of genteel madness. For there was a Glamorous Puss shimmying up and down most enticingly on a pole while simultaneously singing the praises of beautifully-dressed people. The Perpetual Writer was engrossed in events in the lives of little Lego superheroes while the Queen of Memes prettily proclaimed amnesty for those imprisoned in Bloggingham Dungeon. Brilliant Peace Globes were flying helter-skelter, and the Cacher of Photos was busily clicking away on her camera to record everything in sight. The Thwarter of Complacency smiled dreamily, images of kittens, the moon, and the sea dancing in his mind.

But wait, did I hear the strains of a Bollywood song when I espied Two Halves of a Brain, enveloped in pink mist, prancing along on the soft and alluring pavements of Witness Lane? Hahaha, what a gorgeous sight! A Big Leather Couch beckoned, and sitting on it was like coming home. With the Greatest Honk 'n' Holler, I raised to my lips the bottle of cold beer that appeared magically in my hand.

I didn't really dream that dream.

But it was a lovely dream nonetheless.