Friday, September 01, 2006

I'd like to kick HER hump

I spent the morning at my littlest one's school to watch student performances for "Pre-School Day." I didn't expect to have the fun that I did, and it wasn't just because of all those cute preschool kids dancing and singing.

Maybe it was because of lack of sleep or failure to eat breakfast that made me think of some funny things during two dance presentations. I found myself chewing my lip and making little mewling noises to keep myself from laughing out loud, because I was sitting beside a dignified-looking older lady, and the laughter that was threatening to spill out from me wasn't the "oh-aren't-they-cute" kind. It was more like the "bwahahaha-this-is-so-fucking-idiotic" kind -- the kind I don't think she would have appreciated at the moment. Take note, my laughter was not aimed at the children.

It's like this. The kids are on stage, dancing. A teacher is positioned a few feet away, just below the front of the stage. She's acting as a guide for the kids who are performing, so she's doing the dance moves they're supposed to be doing. This teacher, for all intents and purposes, should have been inconspicuous, but since all the dancing kids were staring at her, and because she was in full view of everyone, it was kind of hard to miss her. To say that she was a distraction is an understatement.

Second thing that almost made me chew my lip to shreds. One of the songs that a class of kids danced to was the Black Eyed Peas' My Humps. Sure, it's a catchy tune and it has a great beat. But a song with lyrics that say
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got you
probably isn't the best song for a group of five-year-olds to dance to in public. At least that's my opinion anyway. The idea of getting a hold of the idiot responsible for choosing that song and thinking up a suitable punishment for him/her nearly made me crack up again. And the fact that the teacher in front was shaking all that junk, all that junk inside her trunk, didn't help at all.

I'm going out with the girlfriends tonight, yippee! (Well, the person in the center of the photo is technically a guy, but at heart, he's all woman, lol.) In any case, he's a lovely person.

Happy weekend everyone!


GhostRose said...

Heheehe. I had an expeience like that a while ago - I went to see 'The witches' with some friends from youth theatre. Before the main show they had these little (4,5 year olds) perform a little show of Little Red Riding Hood. It was so cute and hilarious because this one kid was waving at his family through the entire show, and another one went a little crazy with a plastic sword. It was so funny.

Reeholio said...

Hey Lizza,

I love those moments. I bet you walked away from there in such a happy mood.

I love the song below too. She has a very nice voice.


Natalie said...

Kids should not be subjected to such things. I used to figure skate and they consistently made bad choices for us at shows. In my first at 7 I skated to "Belly up to the Bar Boys" in a barmaid costume and we were told to moon the audience and shake our butts. The worst was to "Eye of the Tiger". It wouldn't have been that bad but our outfits consisted of tiger print leotards, tiger ears, and rope belts that we swung around as tiger tails. I was 12. See, I was pretty good at skating and the rest of the people in the number were about 16 and they liked swinging they tiger tails about and being sexy. I wanted to die.

terra shield said...

Oh my goodness... Help! I'm dying of laughter here.

I just imagined a woman (remarkable resemblance to Mrs Thatcher) shaking her 'ahem' with one hand holding a baton (music conductor like)

Julie said...

Oh my God. It really just amazes me at how stupid some people can be. I am dumbfounded.

MD said...

Hehe, talk about being discreet! It's amazing how everybody cribs about kids being exposed to 'vulgar' music but if this is the scene in a school, then who are we to blame?

NanNan said...

Wow--- whatever happened to Raffi, and Fred Penner? Did they understand the lyrics-- the teachers would have been so in trouble over here---- but it does make a funny story !!! ;)

Michael C said...

That is hysterical!! What's the next school performance? My money's on The Commodores' "She's A Brick House."

Thanks for sharing. That brought a good laugh!

Lizza said...

Ghostrose and Rhys, those events can be quite funny, even if they weren't meant to be. :-)

Natalie, LOL at the thought of you skating as a kid in a tiger costume!

Terra, at least you can laugh. I couldn't at that time!

Julie, I was dumbfounded too, lol

MD, I hope instances like that are flukes.

Nannan, lol! I don't see how educators could fail to understand the song's lyrics. :-D

Michael, you're welcome. And please, not that song! haha

Mimi Lenox said...

Oh my word! Say it ain't so. She did NOT have little kids dancing to "My Hump"....! Your description of the event IS funny, but the reality is NOT. I think I would have been tempted to yank my child off the stage.

Lizza said...

Alas, Mimi. Those little ones were twisting to the beat of the aforementioned dance tune.

Melli said...

The stupidity of the school systems never ceases to amaze me! I'm WITH ya on this one! No HUMPING for five year olds! *is that too hard to understand?*

Lizza said...

LOL Melli! I think schools everywhere really make the dumbest mistakes sometimes.

Thanks for stopping by. :-)

Anonymous said...

hahaha! v appropriate song (for kids?!?)
so, where did you go? as useless nasa gitna pa rin ang lola r., huh?


Lizza said...


We went to The Fort. But you have to admit siya pa rin ang pinaka-pretty sa lahat di ba?

H said...

ha ha ha ha ha

I'd love to spank that teacher.

spank spank spank.
her bum her bum her bum

Lizza said...

It was a funny experience H, but I hope nothing of the sort happens again!