Thursday, August 30, 2007

Notes From Hell

I read somewhere that spammers aren't residents of Planet Earth, that they're already in hell. What a way to spend eternity. One good thing about spam email is that when I need a good chuckle I need look no further than my spam box. No, I don't click to read the full message nor do I open any of their attachments. Me too chickenshit to do that. Here are some subjects of missives from hell that tickled my funny bone.

From: The Royal Bank of Scotland
Subject: The Royal Bank of Scotland customer service: account notification!
(Yeah, right. And I'm the Queen of Scots.)

From: Latisha B. Staley
Subject: 300,000 satisfied men!
(Whoa! Amazing! A world record for sure. You go, girl!)

From: Robbie Huber
Subject: No more being shy of your manhood in the showers after gym or in public toilets.
(A man who's shy about his manhood, does such a creature exist?)

From: deanostavros
Subject: Oh baby, I missed you so much. Here are some pics to keep you hot till I see you.
(I rest my case.)

From: Doris Estrada
Subject: We need Ph.d nominees - FAS T TRAC K DE GRE E PROGRAM

From: Isida
Subject: 23180 single ladies from Russia are wait for you, have interest?
(Nope. Maybe they should try the Royal Bank of Scotland?)

From: Juliya K.
Subject: i want to say u hi
(Sadly, me not hi. Maybe u hi?)

Hmmm, now I'm hungry. Spam sandwich, anyone?


Turnbaby said...


We are getting the same idiotic spam!!!

I thought I was the only one noticing how goofy the lines are becoming LOLOLOL


houseband00 said...

Ever thought of sending them spam? =)

zeroimpact said...

I'd like a coke to go with that spamwich
And the list just goes on and on right

Terra Shield said...

Thank goodness for bulk folders.... :)

PS: I'm hungry too

Bond said...

I money have to you for to help.

Share with you $1,000,000,000.00 respond please.

Kiyotoe said...

I hate getting SPAM about penis enlarging machines.

Like, hey, is somebody trying to tell me something or what?


lizza said...

Turnbaby: deanostavros emailed you too? The bastard. ;-)

HB: Haha, if I could, I would. Maybe.

ZI: It never ends.

Terra: A few manage to get through the spam filters. I'm hungry again.

Bond: Your style me likey. Sign I do where?

Kiyotoe: Whoa. Are you saying what I think you're saying? :-D

kyels said...

Spam sandwich; no thank you, Liz.


Well, my friend once replied to these spammers pero I am not too sure what happened after that. Nyahaha!

It's annoying to get spams honestly.

Joseph said...

umm.... huh... this is kinda awkward...

but could you forward me the single ladies in Russia email...

much appreciated!


DaddyP said...

I haven't had a spam sandwich for years - oooooo and then there's spam fritters. I'm going shopping today - shall I.......?
BTW, your loan has been approved, please forward me a security deposit and all details of your on-line banking details including your PIN number and inside leg measurement.

H said...

hahaha. I did tell you about my first spam experience. how I emailed back.

I've been thinking of a post on it too.

Kiyotoe said...

Umm....just that the last thing I need is a........umm.. nevermind.

Inappropriate ;)

Anonymous said...


Debo Blue said...

I love spam with rice and red Kool-aid. Sometimes cheese too.

Mail spam, naw. Won't even open stuff when I don't know the sender anymore. Who has time.

Thanks for reminding me about Dragon's meme.

Sidney said...

I don't get any spam with gmail (google). They only send advertisements which might be considered the same as spam.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lizza spamming on the spammers. Priceless. Hysterically funny. I got a vile evil nasty violent sick comment on my blog this week! It sat there all day before I noticed it. But that was NOT funny.

Mimi Lenox said...

By the way, can I have one of your itsy bitsy logo buttons? "I Am Woman" is so adorable. I want to put it in my sidebar.

eastcoastdweller said...

Never respond to spammers! That lets them know they've hit a warm body and you will never hear the end of it!

Lizza, spam is now hitting blogs. I got my first one -- a spam-bot, Adena calls them -- yesterday.

it's the little things... said...

Spam! I'd forgotten all about that nasty conglomeration of 'meat'!

sognatrice said...

Too funny. Annoying but funny.

Also, in order to thank you for mentioning my contest on your site, I've tagged you for a meme!

jbwritergirl said...

I love spam.

Why just the other day I got one that said 'Want to Fuck someone in your neighborhood'? How could they have found out. I love to fuck with the neighbors, especially the one that parks that beat up old red car in front of my house. LOL

Lizza said...

Hey, thanks to all of you for your comments! I'll get to visiting your blogs ASAP. So great to see you here. :-)

CS said...

I've been getting a ton of spam that all start with some variation of "Dude! When her husband sees this video he's going to freak! what were you thinking?" They must think they've targeted a man's email account, because to hear men talk, they'd be thrilled to see a video of their wife with another woman!

Lizza said...

Weirdos, the lot. Well, not all of them and not all the time.

Gumby said...

I can state with all certainty that men-shy-of-their-manhood do indeed exist...

lizza said...

Really? Oh, that's a shame.