Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Sex. Moan. Where?

Once upon a time, there was a group of islands out in Southeast Asia. Named after King Philip II of Spain, the country was a Spanish colony for approximately 300 years until near the end of the 19th century, when control was transferred to the United States after the Spanish-American War. I love the Spanish and I love Americans, but come on guys, why the obsession with conquests? (That was a rhetorical question, okay?)

Anyway, there was this little town called Sasmuan in the province of Pampanga. But maybe because the Americans here during the American Occupation had too much time on their hands or maybe they were thinking of things other than home at the moment (or maybe because they thought it would be easier to pronounce and a lot more fun to hear) the town's name was changed to (get ready for this)...


Oh, you damn Yankees! :-)

Sexmoan was only a short distance away from Clark Air Base and Subic Bay Naval Base (the latter was bombed by the Japanese just a few hours after Pearl Harbor, by the way). But then, why would anyone go out of his way to visit a town (intriguing name notwithstanding) when just a few minutes away, in the red light districts near the bases, one could have all the sex and moaning that could ever want? Anyway, in 1991, the town reclaimed its original, more respectable name, Sasmuan. So, alas, Sexmoan is no more.

End of short history lesson.

There are many, many other places in the world that have funny names. Such as:

-Batman, Turkey (Ohh, the possibilities! Turkish batcaves, Turkish batmobiles, Turkish batgirls, Turkish robins...a Turkish Alfred!)
-Beclean, Romania
-Bitche, France (I'm sure Wendz and Doc don't live there, though they might have visited.)
-Blue Ball, Pennsylvania (I'm sure Gale Martin doesn't live there.)
-Boring, Oregon (I'm sure Scott doesn't live there either.)
-Clit, Romania
-Cocklick End, UK (Hahahahaaaaa!)
-Condom, Gers, France (I bet this is one safe place to be.)
-Climax, Michigan (Sounds like this city rocks!)
-Die, France
-Dildo, Newfoundland (Sounds like this place needs more men. Or maybe more men who know how to give a girl a good time.)
-Egg, Austria
-Egg, Switzerland
-Feces de Abaixo, Spain (How elegantly vulgar. Well, it isn't really vulgar, maybe it's just my mind that is.)
-Fertile, Minnesota
-Fucking, Austria (Ahhh. I've seen this on some other blogs, but I still think it's amazing. This one just fucking takes the cake.)

-Gland, Switzerland (Funny, in a clinical sort of way.)
-Hell, Grand Cayman
-Hell, Michigan
-Hell, Norway (So when someone tells me to go to hell, I hope he/she is referring to this Hell.)
-Intercourse, Pennsylvania (Hmmm. Austria still has my vote.)
-Kinki, Japan (Probably nary a boring moment there.)
-Kissing, Germany
-Petting, Germany (And when you finally have enough of Kissing and Petting, you can jump over to that effing town in Austria.)
-Poo, Spain
-Semen, Indonesia
-Slut, Sweden
-Twatt, Scotland
-Vagina, Russia
-Wank, Bavaria (*giggle giggle*)
-Wankdorf, Switzerland
-Wedding, Germany (Awww... that's a sweet name)
-Wet Beaver Creek, Arizona (I know there's a joke here somewhere. Maybe Dildo is its sister city?)
-Worms, Germany (Ewww!)

I'm sure there are lots more out there. I got a good laugh out of some of these names. I hope you did, too.

Oh, Austria is now officially on my travel list. Haha!


Tammie Jean said...

What a fun list - these are great!

Kyels said...

These are awesome!

Hahaha ... I'd love to go to Fucking.


Matt-Man said...

Good List Lizza. If you ever come to the States you must go to Kentucky and visit "Big Bone Lick State Park"...or not. Cheers!!

Lizza said...

Tammie Jean: Yes, they are. Glad you liked it!

Kyels: Haha! So would I. But the locals are probably tired of all the Fucking jokes.

Matt-man: I actually had to Google that to see if you were pulling my leg or not. I then saw that such a park exists. I am chastened.

maggie said...

i wouldnt have known about sexmoan, lizz! but it does make u wonder, eh?

how about bavaria? i wonder if david would know what i meant if i say, "hey fancy going to Wank?"

Kiyotoe said...

that's hilarious. Some of those names got me a little excited.

I'm so ashamed......

but i'm down for a trip to Austria too :)

Lizza said...

Maggie: Yep, made me wonder what the hell they were thinking when they came up with those names. :-D

Don't forget to let us know about David's reaction if you ask him that.

Kiyotoe: A LITTLE excited? Haha!

No, don't be ashamed. The names themselves made my eyes pop out.

Let me know about the Austrian trip if it happens. ;-D

mist1 said...

I have been to Cumming, Georgia.

Sanni said...

Since I´ve been to all the German places I wanna join the FUCKING trip to Austria =)

Cai said...

This is funny! Someone should take a world trip, visit all these places, and take pictures next to the signs!

Turnbaby said...

I have been to Cumming and to Climax and i live close to Big Bone Lick --YUP


I LOVE this post

You are so cool!!

Lizza said...

mist1: I sure hope you had a good time there!

Sanni: Ooo, you've been to Kissing, Petting, and Worms? Note to self: must save up for blogger expedition to Austria!

Cai: That would be sooo cool.

Turnbaby: Cumming and Climax must've had some similarities, eh? Haha! Glad you had fun with the list.

Odat said...

Hell, Let's all Go to Kissing and Petting on our way to Fucking!

Natalie said...

Wow I knew about hEll Michigan but not all those other hells on earth. I would hate to live in one of the places on your list, particularly vagina.

thepinkangel said...

haha! at least Americans have a great sense of humor. :) gotten love us for that if for nothing else. We are kind of loud and selfish.

Photo Cache said...

this is a one hilarious post. love that list.

Terra Shield said...

That's a pretty cool list you've got there... Wednesday morning laughs... :D

Lizza said...

Odat: Haha! What a sight we'd all be if we all descended on Fucking en masse.

Natalie: Neither would I. But the names are just so funny.

Rach: Yes, you do. No disagreement from me about that! :-D

Photo: Glad you had fun with it!

Terra: Oh, goody. You laughed too!

Michael C said...

Why oh why can't I be a map maker? You think the wife will kill be if I start booking our next few vacations to some of these places??

Natalia said...

ROTFL. I didn't know so many places were in need of a name change. I love that a little kid can say she or he lives in Fucking and not get in trouble. :)


eddyquette said...

I'm off to visit a buddy of mine tonight who has just moved to Wankheim near Tübingen... No, really. if you don't believe me. Germany is fun sometimes.

Steven Novak said...

Living in fucking would be to much pressure.

What if you can't get laid even in fucking?

That's suicide material right there. ;)


Dan said...

Lizza, you are, like, the goddess of naughty place names. Thank you for the research you did to comprise this list! :)

For the record, I think they should have a Cocklick End in Sexmoan. It's the right thing to do.

You rock!

Wendz said...

Oh you wouldn't want to live in Dung! I giggle whenever I see the board.

H said...

okay, so I'm lots and lots of wine down and ALL of this is sounding very very naughty to me.

grin. [yeah, and I'm grinning stupidly too].

Lizza said...

Michael: Kill you? She'd probably enjoy the trips! So go and book now. :-)

Natalia: Haha! I live in Fucking, Austria. That would be so much fun to hear.

Eddyquette: I believe you. And I hope you have a great time in Wankheim. The name alone starts a fit of giggles...

Steve: That would be so sad. What a loser. You'll bring Tami there, ok? ;-)

Dan: It would rock even more if there were lions there! ;-)

Wendz: You are absolutely right, I would not! :-D

H: Sis, you're drinking and you didn't tell me??? Oh, how cruel. Glad you had fun with this post, though!

Sanni said...

Liz, I´ve been to Kissing, Petting, Wedding and Worms... and sometimes I feel like I´ve been kissing and petting with worms so far, so that might be the reason why there´s no wedding in sight *ROFLMAO*

Scott from Oregon said...

Boring Oregon actually is...

I've passed right on through many times...

Lizza said...

Sanni: Kissing and petting with worms, haha! But what lovely worms you have.

Scott: Awww, I hope the people who live there aren't. :-)

BeckEye said...

I'm surprised there isn't a Fucking, West Virginia because everytime someone is in WV, they say, "I can't believe I'm in Fucking West Virginia."

Intercourse,PA is smack-dab in the middle of Amish country, which seems like a waste.

Lizza said...

Hahaha, Beckeye! Maybe that's why it's called Intercourse, instead of something more...ummm, in the vernacular. ;-)

Thank you for stopping by, I'm glad to see you here.

Debo Blue said...

Great list! I'd like to see the faces of my pastors when I show them pictures of me standing next to the sign of F***ing, Austria. Think they'd publish it in the church bulletin?

Oh the thoughts in my head right now.

Hey Steve, hilarious comment:-)

Lizza said...

I'm sure your pastors have a sense of humor, but don't count on such a pic being published in your church bulletin! :-D