Thursday, April 17, 2008


You know how sometimes nothing feels right: your hair’s a mess, you look in the mirror and see a tub of lard, you feel like you’re drowning in a sea that’s slick with inadequacy, insecurity, loneliness, and perceived non-appreciation. A shitty day to top all shitty days, in other words. Today felt just like that for me; it made me want to go jump off a high cliff.


The firstborn, about to enter his senior year in high school, called me to show a special move he discovered in the video game he’s playing. And to share other stuff I never could have shared with my parents when I was his age.

The older daughter made an intricate, graceful movement with her arm – like it was part of a dance – while she was sleeping. That made me laugh, and wonder what kind of music she was hearing and dancing to in her dreams.

The younger daughter, the mini-me, stopped me in my tracks while I, all irritable and grumpy, was about to set on an errand. Just before I could snap “What?!” at her (and to my shame, I was about to), this plump bundle of love and laughter wrapped her arms around my midriff – very tightly – and said “I love you, Mama” over and over again. Just because. She does that a lot – all three of them do – but it was especially appreciated today for some reason.

I thank the powers that be for my children. They can drive me crazy ass batshit and make me plaintively cry out "Hay naku namaaaan, mga anak ko!" (which translates roughly to "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"*) but they keep me sane too.

*Not really, no. Feels that way sometimes, though.


Mimi Lenox said...

Aww...I love when you talk about your children. It is true. One little kiss on the cheek from them and you forget everything wrong in your world. I loved this part...."wrapped her arms around my midriff...and waid "I love you, Mama" over and over again. Just because."

The mini-you?
What a lucky young lady.

Mimi Lenox said...

oops....that should read "said" not "waid"

Lizza said...

They are my salvation, Mims. The mini-me is so mini-me, it's scary sometimes.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Children have a way of giving you perspective. Are you raising them or are they raising you? Ah, that IS the question...

Great post!

Photo Cache said...

Oh lizza, you have a wonderful looking brood. You are so lucky, girl. Sorry about your shitty day, it's contagious actually, at least three of us here at work are feeling just like you do (and I got no little hands wrapped around my middle to get me through the day). A little Bailey's will help my mood :=)

Travis said...

Crazy ass batshit? I'm so using that.


Tif said...

I came upon your blog through a series of links...funny how that happens...but I needed to leave this comment...

I hear ya sister!

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Nice photee Lizza.

See, I've told you to stop moaning before. Count your blessings like I do ...... for instance there's ....? ....or ......? ..... mmmm?

*sob* *wail* *breast beating*

oooo ...... just remembered my wooden leg! ....... that's better.

*hum* *sing* *break wind in celebration*

Sidney said...

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up.
-Christopher Morley-

H said...

Hug Lizza.
All your children sound lovely. Really lovely. The credit surely goes to you and their dad for bringing them up to be such warm quirky adorable individuals.

Stay smiling my dear. You made me smile that deep-in-the-head smile, with this one.

And the picture is to die for!

Glamourpuss said...

Aw, that's lovely. The angels were smiling on you.


Bond said...

Ah our love them to death and sometimes want to put them to death...LOL

I had never seen that picture before...It is wonderful...

bleeding espresso said...

Aw :) Heart melting....

Anonymous said...

What a terrific photo of you and the kids. They are a blessing, aren't they?

Lizza said...

Bud Good question, indeed. It's a two-way street.

Photo: Thank you! They are adorable. Now pass me the Bailey's.

Trav: Steal away! Cheers, my buddy.

Tif: Thanks for dropping in. So glad you can relate, sister!

DaddyP: I would beat my breast in time to your breaking of wind...but I don't have boobs, just mosquito bites.

Sidney: Nooo, kids don't grow up. They'll always be our babies. Even when they're old and grey.

H: So glad for the smile-in-the-head smile, dear sis. Now when will I be godmother to little H's? :-)

Puss: Thanks. Yep, they're either smiling or playing a practical joke.

Bond: Thanks...and, oh yes! Little crazy asses. What would we do without them?

Sognatrice: Thank you. Grazie? So good to see you here, lovely one.

Citizen: Thanks! That they most certainly are.

greg said...

That's a sweet story!

Funny translation too.

My .02