Friday, July 20, 2007

Raspberry de-lish

"You're not going anywhere."

That's what my reflection in the mirror says, she, this stranger who strangely looks familiar, who stares back at me in all haughtiness even while my 3-D self's mouth is all frothy with toothpaste.

"You aren't going anywhere."

So says the reflection I see in the pale gold liquid in front of me before it touches my lips and swirls around my tongue. A different taste from the usual, a foreign taste. But one that's most savory -- a most reassuring sensation, like getting re-acquainted with an old friend, one you know who's always been there but keeping his peace in the background; a silent, stolid presence who unexpectedly emerges into visibility with something as simple as the word "cheers." Such a welcome, comforting feeling -- yet one that's tempered with anxiety because sometimes it's hard to tell when it's going to disappear back into the woodwork again. Ah, well. Toasts can be made to reflections too. It isn't that hard, when you're used to it. And getting used to it is quite easy. Sometimes drinking alone is more convivial than drinking with a group of people--which can be a very lonely experience.

"You aren't going anywhere."

The multitude of reflections in an amusement park's hall of mirrors seem to mock me. Gaunt, hollow-cheeked reflections that bear only the barest resemblance to the image of me that I have in my mind; she who looks at the world in wide-eyed wonder is a far cry from the smirking, cynical bitch I see cackling, pointing her finger accusingly at me, in the glass.

But then...

A certain song plays on the radio, or
Sunlight strikes in just the right place, or
The right person says the right thing at just the right time

Then I grin at the woman in the mirror or wherever it is I see her, and blow her a big, fat, wet one.

"You aren't going anywhere."
Oh yeah? Bitch, I already am.

And I say that in sisterly love.


houseband00 said...

Hmmm... Too much Heroes, I think. =)

Gusto mong malaman ang season ending? =)

lizza said...

Ang thoughtful mo talaga mag-comment, grabe. :-) Alam ko na no, ako pa! Napanood ko na, ilang linggo na. :-)

Travis said...

LOL. I was thinking Heroes too. Can't wait for that DVD.

Daddy Papersurfer said...

You know what they say about people who talk to themselves? No. Well, neither do I. Mind you it's often the only conversation that makes any sense. Really! Ahah. To be content with your own company is good. Right.
and talking to yourself is fine. Huhah. You might get a few strange looks though. Oh well.........sod them!
Where am I going with this? - nowhere really, who cares.

H said...

smirking cynical bitch.


No no no.

I think that's a way bit too much, Liz.
Even when you're feeling seriously at odds with that very conscientious, annoying reflection.

But yes, I know that feeling. That's exactly the equation between R & L-b-o-h.


kyels said...

Sounds like one of the characters in "Heroes" ... The lady with a young lad.


Debo Blue said...

I've never seen Heroes but I loved the post!

zeroimpact said...

Wow, sound like something I can do with
Let's drink

Lizza said...

Trav: Haha! And I wasn't even thinking about heroes when I wrote this post. I want to watch season 2 already, though.

DaddyP: Oh, good. Glad to know I'm not the only one who's confused. :-)

H: It's true. But when she bugs me, I stick my tongue out at her.

Kyels: It would be cool to be super-duper strong like her!

Debo: Thank you very much! :-)

ZI: Cheers!