The Nubian Nerd tagged me with this most irreverent meme. Maybe it's his way of punishing me for loving a color he detests. (Oh, Avery? I read some of what the other bloggers wrote and it isn't Five Reasons Why God Hates Me; it's supposed to be five reasons why God might be tempted to hate me). You guys can probably tell that this is a silly meme. Does God hate? Can He be tempted? Why am I asking these rhetorical questions?
So here they are, a handful of reasons why I might be incurring God's displeasure:
1. Because I'm sort of nursing a grudge against Him for not giving me bigger boobs.
2. Because I truly, truly wish for the obliteration of some of His other creations, especially these.
3. Because I desecrate the temple that is supposed to be my body by overindulging in certain liquid fruits of the earth.
4. Because I take God's name in vain--when in the heights of ecstasy and the depths of despair.
5. Because my sense of humor is really, really sick sometimes.
It's this warped funny bone that makes me go to to the Nubian Nerd's Mescaline Visions 4.0 (Beta) and Freewill Tastes Like Chicken blogs. Avery is one hell of a very smart dude, sometimes terrifyingly but often hilariously so. I wonder what it was that Scotland ever did to deserve his presence there.
I'm going to make nice-nice now and not tag anybody with this. My good deed for the day, if you will. However, if you decide to do it, let me know, okay?