Thursday, January 04, 2007

Beyond Kinky

Out of this world. Bizarre. Well, for me anyway. But maybe for some of you out there, the following terms are just run of the mill stuff. (Right, Matt-man?)

They're from the book Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, by Brenda Love. "Unusual" sure seems like an understatement to me, though.







1. Sitophilia
: arousal from food (two of the Seven Deadly Sins just in this one)

2. Homilophilia: arousal from hearing or giving sermons (people actually become horny in church?)

3. Capnolagnia: arousal from watching others smoke (hmmm... *lights cigarette*)

4. Agalmatophilia: attraction to statues (that's kinda creepy)

5. Emetophilia: arousal from vomit or vomiting (ewww! should hang out with #1)

6. Ophidiophilia: arousal from snakes (degree of arousal depends on the snake's size? haha!)

7. Dacryphilia: arousal from seeing tears in the eyes of one's partner ("Tears on My Pillow" just became a dirty song)

8. Odontophilia: arousal from tooth extractions (with or without anesthesia?)

9. Dendrophilia: attraction to trees (I'll never look at tree huggers the same way again)

10. Arachnephilia: arousal from spiders (films like "Arachnophobia" and "Spiderman" just became soft porn)

11. Eproctophilia: arousal from flatulence (oh, good grief!)

37 comments:

Bond said...

Hummm So, if I eat alot while smoking and crying, while standing next to a tree with my trouser snake out.. that will make you wild enough to hop on a plane?

What? Not that kind of snake??? OH

houseband00 said...

At saan mo nanaman ninakaw yang librong yan, aber?

Pahiram. =)

C TO PHILIAC said...

OK, guilty of number 1 (food really turns me on!),& a little bit of number 3 (think young Brando, Jimmy Dean, heck even Bogart! oh of course how can I forget Che Guevara!)

Re no 2, can shouting obscenities like you filthy b**** count as a sermon? Some people like that kinda thing...

I scratch my head on nos 5,7,8, and 10.

I think BB suffers from a mild case of no 9. I've never met anyone more obsessed with trees!

And 'Bummer' is all I can say about no 11.

Lizza said...

Bond: Hahaha! Not the trouser snake! But maybe if you express some flatulence someone will come running into your arms (not me though. haha!)

HB: I really don't have a copy of the book. I read about it somewhere and found some excerpts online.

People with capnolagnia will think you're so hot! Uuuuyyy. Haha!

Fudaholic: Oh yeah, number one is really you. I can see the attraction in no. 3.

I guess obscenities could pass for a sermon. Some of 'em think talking dirty is hot! BB and trees=wood. Haha!

kyels said...

Hohoho ... It's funny, the unusual sex post. Heehee.

(:

mist1 said...

I read that book backwards. I'm kinky like that.

Lizza said...

kyels: It's more than unusual, it's freaky! Haha!

mist1: Haha! It would be nearly impossible to beat you when it comes to kinkiness.

Kiyotoe said...

what the ????

how about halatosiphilia....arousal from bad breath?

i made that up, but you never know. There are some sick cats out there. I give you Exhibit A - #5

Sanni said...

Bwahaha! Just hilarious =)
I hope you don´t mind if I´m not going to tell you about my sinful ...philias! *smirking*

Lizza said...

kiyotoe: Hahaha! Good lord, now that's just way too weird. I agree with you about #5 being a sicko, and there are lots of other types too.

sanni: Let me guess: coffearabicaphilia! No? Coffearobustaphilia! Haha!

Aisby said...

Who ARE these people???

Michael C said...

#11 is just plain wrong. Do you really think the author's last name is Love?
;-)

Lizza said...

aisby: I don't even want to know! :-D

michael: I agree. I can never imagine gut gas being an aphrodisiac. And I doubt her last name is real. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! I laughed my head off while reading your blog (and comments) today! I hope this wins another Bestest Blog award! -- im

Julia Scissor ;-) said...

Waayyll, I haven't read the book you have mentioned but I'm aware of this 'Necrophilia' thingy which is attraction towards corpses!

zeroimpact said...

That is really unsual and to think that everyday thing can be so arousing
Muahahahaha
I learnt a lot here
:P

Natalia said...

My sister totally gets aroused because of food. Now, the last time I had a great steak...I immediaely wanted sex. It is freaky. And I don't see anything sexy about tooth extractions...seriously.

-N

ShadowFalcon said...

Oh I should so get this book for my insane brother in law.

Lizza said...

IM: Glad you enjoyed it!

Julia: Yes, that's necrophilia. *shudder*

ZI: We learned things we never expected to learn, haha!

Natalia: Steak as an aphrodisiac...interesting! And I agree with you about the tooth extractions. WTF???

Shadowfalcon: If he's insane, he'll probably enjoy it. :-)

ian said...

Necrophageophilia. Getting turned on by eating dead people.

"Ah eat dayd people. Ah eat 'em alluh tahm!"

LOL at this post.

Ian

Turnbaby said...

Excellent stuff. I gotta claim number 1--yup.

Odat said...

I was going to ask ..you're reading this book because?????
Interesting stuff for sure....;o
Peace

Matt-Man said...

I can't believe that you made such a hurtful remark directed towards me...Damn, it sure as hell did arouse me though. Maybe I have Insultaphillapinia...The condition of being aroused by gettin insulted by chicks in the Phillipines...Boo Yah and Cheers..

Yaxlich said...

Eproctophilia you say? Hmmm...

Lizza said...

Ian: I don't know which is worse: necrophageophilia or necrophilia. In any case, ewwwww!

Turnbaby: Hi! I'm glad to see you here. Hmmm, I gotta do some introspection to find out what kind of food turns me on.

Odat: Interesting, yes! But I'm not reading the book; I came across an article that mentioned it and I found some excerpts online. I wonder what other depravities are featured in it. :-)

Matt: You are the most depraved, profligate, wicked man to ever...

Does that do it for you? Haha! Cheers, my friend.

Yaxlich: Uh-oh, I wonder what trick Yaxlich has up his sleeve--or the seat of his pants.

Matt-Man said...

Ooooo baby, you had me at profligate. : )

Lizza said...

Hahaha!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

What about blogophilia?

Blogs can be somewhat arousing...

Lizza said...

Good one, Bud, but it depends on the type of blog. Blogs about farts certainly wouldn't be sexy, haha!

Janna said...

Wow!
This was enlightening. I gotta say, the tooth extraction one REALLY creeps me out. That's just sadistic, y'know?
At least if I dated a guy who liked farts, I might be able to actually make him happy occasionally. :)
(So would foreplay involve eating beans and broccoli?)

Lizza said...

Welcome, Janna! :-) Yes, and what happens when he doesn't have any more teeth left? Does he get dental implants, to be pulled out again later?

The vegetable foreplay is okay, romantic even, but the idea of someone getting his jollies from farts is just too funny.

H said...

That last one just got me. simply got me. Man that's one dirty pervert.

grinning.

happily.

there are people out there that can make you feel... CLEAN.

HA AHA HAHA.

Lizza said...

Hahahaha! You got that right, H!

Witness Street said...

Arousal from tooth extractions? Goodness gracious. A quintissential sadist, we must be not. Cheers! :)

INAMINI said...

All I can say is ONZG, and where is my library card!

Lizza said...

Migs: No, we mustn't. People are such funny creatures sometimes. Makes me wonder what they've been smoking. Cheers! (Pwede ka na uminom ulit?)

inamini: Haha! Go find that library card pronto!

Mike said...

lol *lights cigarette*

(yes, I'm still catching up on reading your older posts...)